Distractions

Tuesdays and Thursdays go something like this….

8:00 am- 9:30 am: (If I get a call) Go to the MAD lab to screen for potential research subjects, data entry, and from time to time, administer neuroscience tasks

9:30 am-10:50 pm: I/O Psych

11:00am- 12:20pm: Research Psych

12:30pm- 5:00pm: Attend hearings and back to the office to prep for upcoming cases

5:30pm- 6:50pm: Clinical Psych

7:00pm- 12:00am: Homework

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are about the same but there’s work study and different classes. I purposely booked my days like this, things back to back. There’s basically no breaks, just enough time to get myself where I need to be. A lot of days I don’t eat until 4-5ish, sometimes it’s the only meal of the day (because I don’t eat breakfast. Bad, I know). I just like to keep myself busy to purposely distract myself and avoid people. Instead, I’ve been doing the complete opposite.

I’m constantly surrounded and dealing with people which surprisingly, I don’t mind as much as I thought (explains why I enjoy my internship so much despite all the work I’m not getting paid for). I have to admit, that I like to invest myself in other people, doesn’t matter who. I get a weird sense of satisfaction from it. I care about other people more than I care about myself. It’s probably a bad thing. It always comes back to bite me in the arse. Not because people screw me over, (that always happens) it’s when I got to deal with my crap, I can’t. It’s like I don’t know/forgot how. I spend majority of my day thinking about other people and what I need to do for them. When that’s all done, then I take care of myself. Homework and eat.

I know this is not healthy, but I like it like this. I’ve be really satisfied with everything, especially school. It helped me get my shit together and some how pulled me out of this weird funk that I can honestly say that I’ve been in and out of for about a year or two. But then, this could be because I’m putting my crap on the back burner, again. It’s just that I really hate dealing with really stupid things and people, biggest pet peeves. I’ve placed my emotional luggage in this category of “really stupid things”. That’s where it’s always been and that’s where it should stay. I’m sure all of this going to creep up on me later but until then I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing and enjoy what I’m doing.

There is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INgXzChwipY

p.s. I’m attempting to go vegan, again. I decided this when this song randomly started playing as I was waiting for the bus in this cozy cafe drinking soy coffee and eating my vegan sandwich. Then I purposely missed the bus (who cares if I’m late to class) so I can listen to the whole CD (which I have to download now). Today was a good day.

@1 year ago